Blowin in the Wind

I have stayed rather quiet about recent developments in California. And I think the reality is that I don't know how to handle it. I try to process the fact that I can get married in my own state, and have an emotional safeguard jump into action because I can feel the insane happiness welling up inside. It's just too much for me to handle and I'm not sure when I will be. The bad things: The decision can be overturned by a constitutional amendment which could be on the ballot in November. Good things: The California Supreme Court was not expected to make this decision, they're rather conservative on most matters. This is the most progressive decision of its kind because of the fact that California is granting marriage licenses to any comers, unlike Massachusetts which is only granting licenses to those who have been living in its state. The final good news is that our dear Governator has decided, after vetoing a marriage license twice through the state legislature and sending his minions to support the opposing side in the court, has stated that he will stand by the courts decision and not support the amendment on he November ballot.

I know there's a lot of people who are confused as to why marriage is so important to us gays. After thinking about it for a while, I believe I have a plausible answer. That which makes us different from straight people is who we are capable of being attracted to, not only in a physical and sexual way, but in a romantic and emotional way. In our culture, the way to show that you truly care about someone is through marriage. By not allowing marriage, the message is clearly sent that you are a second class human being. That which makes you different is that which makes you less. You cannot exemplify your difference in an equal way, your love is not equal to our love, you are less than us. This is why marriage means so much to us, when we are given permission to marry, we are finally allowed to be equals. That is where we can argue that the right to marry is a an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution, because it guarantees that we are treated as equals.

I tried to process the possibility of being able to marry about a month ago, I didn't get too far because I started crying and my emotional safeguards kicked in so I didn't become overwhelmed by the feelings. I don't think I can actually let myself go there, but I do know that when I do let that realization sink in for just a moment, the burning begins in the corners from my eye. I am truly so honored and so ecstatic to be a Californian.

Though even though this happiness, I still find it tragic that my reaction is simply to be happy that the courts have decided to demand that everyone treated me as an equal...I thought that we solved that problem ages ago. Part of me wants my response to simply be "its about time."

Ah, rest the rant, it is time for happiness. How long will it take for me to be considered an equal country round?

The answer my friends is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind.

P.S. I had a really good date today, how timely :)